Category Archives: family

Lottery Tickets

I don’t like priests. Priests are thugs in God’s gang – the enforcers, the money collectors, the drug pushers. They get their orders from the top, and make sure everyone in the neighborhood falls in line. Do this, don’t do … Continue reading

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Filed under Christmas, desperation, family, holidays, lottery, madness, Philadelphia, religion, Sean is an idiot, Septa, shopping

On The Road – Part Two

 To recap, Sean and a friend have departed Philadelphia at four-thirty in the morning, heading south towards Newark, Delaware. After a cab leaves them to walk down the side of the highway and an ill-advised detour takes them in search … Continue reading

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Filed under B.O.O.B.S., cars, commuting, desperation, douches, drinking, Duh, family, future, growing up, Guy stuff, Legacy, life of crime, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, scary, Sean goes insane, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, technology, train, women

On The Road – Part One

Somewhere, thousands of feet above your head, through the casual clusters of cumulonimbus casting shadows as they slowly slide across sunlit skies, someone is taking a shit. That’s what I think about when I see an airplane. Some think about … Continue reading

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Filed under airports, apartment, B.O.O.B.S., cars, commuting, desperation, douches, drinking, Duh, family, future, growing up, Guy stuff, Legacy, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, scary, Sean goes insane, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, technology, train

Young Love

I want to be cool. Ever since I first heard what cool was, ever since I had seen it epitomized in a fourth grade Trapper Keeper, ever since I had witnessed it striding across a gymnasium dance floor in stone … Continue reading

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Filed under About, B.O.O.B.S., coffee, commuting, desperation, family, future, growing up, Guy stuff, Legacy, life at home, love, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, scary, Sean is an idiot, vacation, women, work

A Squirrel’s Tail

Where do squirrels go to die? Road kill aside, with the large amount of squirrels running about, you’d think we would see bodies everywhere. What is the life expectancy of squirrels? It can’t be too long and I doubt there … Continue reading

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Filed under animals, cars, desperation, doctor, drinking, family, food, future, Guy stuff, laundry, Legacy, life at home, love, ouch, Philadelphia, Sean goes insane, Sean is an idiot, sick

Bedtime Story

As a child there is nothing scarier than the unknown. What’s in the closet? What’s outside the window? What’s under the bed? We don’t know, but it could be anything. Children are impressionable and need constant reassurance that everything will … Continue reading

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Filed under apartment, desperation, douches, drinking, family, Guy stuff, Legacy, life at home, life in new york, madness, ouch, scary, Sean goes insane, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, sleeping, technology

Tips For Receiving Bad Holiday Gifts

This holiday season, remember to always express gratitude for the gifts you’re given. Or just fake it.   10 Tips for Receiving a Shitty Gift Immediately smile in the same manner you do when shown a friend’s obviously cheap engagement … Continue reading

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Filed under bartending, desperation, family, fashion, Guy stuff, holidays, life at home, love, madness, Philadelphia, positive people, Sean goes insane, Sean is an idiot, shopping, women

A New Friend

I woke wrapped in soft sheets that stung the stubble on my face with jealous static kisses each time I tried rotating to the other side of the bed. Slipping a toe from under the covers, I poked around on … Continue reading

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Filed under B.O.O.B.S., Christmas, coffee, desperation, douches, family, future, Guy stuff, holidays, Legacy, life at home, life in new york, madness, OPP, Philadelphia, positive people, Sean is an idiot, technology

I’m A Romantic

I leaned over the side of the boat and let the spray kick up into my face as we bounced down the chop of the Hudson River. The city rose from the water in front of us, its iconic peaks … Continue reading

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Filed under B.O.O.B.S., celebrity, commuting, dating, desperation, douches, family, future, Guy stuff, Legacy, life in new york, love, madness, ouch, positive people, Sean goes insane, Sean is an idiot, subway, tourists, women, work

The Boy Who Wanted To Fly

I looked down at my bed and thought about what I needed to pack. I was leaving to visit my parents in the suburbs of Philadelphia and the weather had been somewhat erratic of late, making it difficult to select … Continue reading

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Filed under apartment, commuting, desperation, douches, family, future, Guy stuff, Legacy, life in new york, love, madness, Philadelphia, train, work