Category Archives: holidays
Lottery Tickets
I don’t like priests. Priests are thugs in God’s gang – the enforcers, the money collectors, the drug pushers. They get their orders from the top, and make sure everyone in the neighborhood falls in line. Do this, don’t do … Continue reading →
Filed under Christmas, desperation, family, holidays, lottery, madness, Philadelphia, religion, Sean is an idiot, Septa, shopping
Tagged as Catholic Church, Christmas, Church, Elmo, God, lottery, philadelphia, praying, priests, Sean Carney, Sesame Street, twenty-something, writer, writing
Les Touristes
I placed my elbow on the side of the chair and noticed that there was an ashtray welded into the metal armrest. Leaning into the aisle I looked towards the front of the airplane and saw a sign that read, … Continue reading →
Filed under airports, B.O.O.B.S., bartending, bathroom from Hell, dancing, desperation, douches, drinking, Guy stuff, holidays, life in new york, love, madness, ouch, Paris, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, tourists, vacation, women
Tagged as accident, Air India, bar scene, bars, battle, Beaujolais Nouveau, blog, douche, drinking, Eiffel Tower, France, Huey Lewis, idiots, insane, life in new york, meaning of life, new york city, Paris, Phil Collins, Rod Stewart, Sean Carney, The Witty Gritty, twenty-something, vacation, women, writer, writing
We Should Have Let Him Die
(The dates and locations in this story have been changed to protect the innocent guilty.) This story begins, with a pair of jeans. I’ve only owned one pair of jeans for the past year, and before that, I owned one … Continue reading →
Filed under B.O.O.B.S., Christmas, commuting, desperation, doctor, douches, drinking, fashion, Friday thought, future, Guy stuff, holidays, life at home, life of crime, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, scary, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, sick
Tagged as accident, bar scene, bars, concussion, douche, drinking, fashion, head trauma, head wound, hoagies, hospital, ice, idiots, insane, jeans, New Year's Eve, philadelphia, twenty-something, winter
Tips For Receiving Bad Holiday Gifts
This holiday season, remember to always express gratitude for the gifts you’re given. Or just fake it. 10 Tips for Receiving a Shitty Gift Immediately smile in the same manner you do when shown a friend’s obviously cheap engagement … Continue reading →
Filed under bartending, desperation, family, fashion, Guy stuff, holidays, life at home, love, madness, Philadelphia, positive people, Sean goes insane, Sean is an idiot, shopping, women
Tagged as apartment, childhood, Christmas, douche, family, gifts, idiots, insane, love, meaning of life, twenty-something
Philadelphia
9463, 9463, 9463, 9463… If you go out to a bar in Philadelphia, you’re guaranteed to see at least one of three things: 1) someone dancing around wearing a lime green, full body “morph suit,” popularized by the character Charlie … Continue reading →
Filed under apartment, B.O.O.B.S., Christmas, desperation, douches, drinking, Duh, Guy stuff, holidays, Legacy, life at home, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, scary, Sean goes insane, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, sleeping, tourists, women, work
Tagged as apartment, bar scene, bars, childhood, Cliff Lee, douche, Drinker's Tavern, drinking, Green man, homeless, idiots, insane, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Old City, philadelphia, Philadelphia Eagles, Philadelphia Phillies, sleeping, twenty-something, unemployment, women, Yuengling
A New Friend
I woke wrapped in soft sheets that stung the stubble on my face with jealous static kisses each time I tried rotating to the other side of the bed. Slipping a toe from under the covers, I poked around on … Continue reading →
Filed under B.O.O.B.S., Christmas, coffee, desperation, douches, family, future, Guy stuff, holidays, Legacy, life at home, life in new york, madness, OPP, Philadelphia, positive people, Sean is an idiot, technology
Tagged as accident, battle, cable guy, Christmas, Comcast, douche, holiday shopping, idiots, insane, life in new york, mall, philadelphia, Philadelphia Eagles, Philadelphia Phillies, porn, shopping, sleeping, stalker, twenty-something, unemployment, work
