Tag Archives: philadelphia

Four Conversations

* * *  At my parents’ house for Mother’s Day… “Hey Mom, do you have an extra towel I can bring back to my apartment?” “A bath towel?” “Yeah, mine has this weird smell.” “Please tell me you have more … Continue reading

4 Comments

Filed under Sean goes insane, Guy stuff, subway, madness, Sean is an idiot, douches, women, dating, love, work, laundry, family, apartment, Philadelphia

Rear Window

In my bedside table drawer sits a pair of scissors, a pad of paper, three dead AA batteries, a crucifix, a condom, and a packet of soy sauce. The condom is from the 2008 Obama Campaign, and the packaging reads, … Continue reading

Leave a Comment

Filed under apartment, desperation, drinking, madness, Philadelphia, scary, Sean goes insane, Sean is an idiot, tourists, women

Night and Day

* * * I turn on the TV at night… I am a man. I am lost. For what I lack in wit, I make up for in abundance with body hair, body odor and body fat. I am stupid, … Continue reading

Leave a Comment

Filed under dating, desperation, family, fashion, Guy stuff, love, madness, poetry, women

The Guat – Part Four: Home

When we last left Sean, he had two days left in Guatemala, and had just emerged from a swim in the lake to find a topless woman sunbathing. * * * After tossing my backpack into the darkness of the … Continue reading

Leave a Comment

Filed under airports, animals, cars, commuting, desperation, douches, Guatemala, Guy stuff, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, poetry, scary, Sean goes insane, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, tourists, vacation, women, work, yoga people

The Guat – Part Three: The Girl with the Dolphin Tattoo

When we last left Sean, he was hiding in the backseat of a car in Guatemala, waiting to be killed. * * * His name was Bill, and he was from Chicago. And Bill was insane. “People say I’m a … Continue reading

Leave a Comment

Filed under animals, bathroom from Hell, desperation, drinking, Guatemala, Guy stuff, love, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, religion, scary, Sean is almost killed, shopping, sleeping, tourists, vacation, women

The Guat – Part One: One Pair of Underwear

According to various travel websites, among the things to “avoid” during a trip to Guatemala are: active volcanoes, spiders, scorpions, rapists, murderers, drug cartels, pickpockets, child sex traffickers, kidnappers, extortionists, roving packs of rabid dogs, and the occasional mob, military … Continue reading

1 Comment

Filed under airports, animals, commuting, desperation, douches, Guatemala, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, religion, scary, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, tourists, vacation, women

Super Man

Three weeks ago I walked out of my apartment and nearly collided with a small man leaning against the wall in the hallway. He was carrying a pair of sneakers and seemed to be waiting for someone. He also wasn’t … Continue reading

1 Comment

Filed under apartment, B.O.O.B.S., bathroom from Hell, desperation, future, Guy stuff, life in new york, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, scary, Sean is almost killed, shower, sleeping

iSlave

“Can I help you, sir?” I was unaware that Verizon Wireless stores had hosts, and thought for a moment that I might have been required to make a reservation in advance. On second glance however the man standing before me … Continue reading

Leave a Comment

Filed under B.O.O.B.S., desperation, douches, fashion, Guy stuff, madness, Philadelphia, Sean goes insane, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, shopping, technology

Lottery Tickets

I don’t like priests. Priests are thugs in God’s gang – the enforcers, the money collectors, the drug pushers. They get their orders from the top, and make sure everyone in the neighborhood falls in line. Do this, don’t do … Continue reading

Leave a Comment

Filed under Christmas, desperation, family, holidays, lottery, madness, Philadelphia, religion, Sean is an idiot, Septa, shopping

Hole Peas

I smelled her before I saw her, bourbon and dirty hair. I was in The Gallery, a “mall” in Center City Philadelphia that more closely resembles a prison gift shop. Roving gangs of armed teenagers, scratching addicts slumped on urine-soaked … Continue reading

3 Comments

Filed under apartment, B.O.O.B.S., commuting, dating, desperation, Guy stuff, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, scary, Sean goes insane, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, Septa, shopping, sleeping, train, women