Tag Archives: Sean Carney
iSlave
“Can I help you, sir?” I was unaware that Verizon Wireless stores had hosts, and thought for a moment that I might have been required to make a reservation in advance. On second glance however the man standing before me … Continue reading
Hole Peas
I smelled her before I saw her, bourbon and dirty hair. I was in The Gallery, a “mall” in Center City Philadelphia that more closely resembles a prison gift shop. Roving gangs of armed teenagers, scratching addicts slumped on urine-soaked … Continue reading
Filed under apartment, B.O.O.B.S., commuting, dating, desperation, Guy stuff, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, scary, Sean goes insane, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, Septa, shopping, sleeping, train, women
Tsunami Warning
I have a morbid preoccupation with death, and consistently fantasize about how I will eventually be killed. I say “killed” because there is a seventy percent chance of my demise resulting from someone else’s hand, and thirty percent due to … Continue reading
Filed under apartment, B.O.O.B.S., commuting, desperation, douches, drinking, future, Guy stuff, Legacy, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, scary, Sean goes insane, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, Septa, subway, train
Ass-igned Seating
Tension is an empty airplane seat. As much as we all think we’ve progressed from our elementary school days, we haven’t. And there is no better illustration of that fact than air travel; when adults are given assigned seats as … Continue reading
Filed under airports, B.O.O.B.S., desperation, douches, Duh, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, positive people, puppies, scary, Sean goes insane, Sean is an idiot, tourists, vacation, women
World Wide Web
Eavesdropping on people is rude; though how else are you supposed to hear their conversations? One morning last week, I stepped outside on my deck in the warm still-rising sunshine and took in what would be the last breeze of … Continue reading
Filed under B.O.O.B.S., coffee, commuting, desperation, douches, Duh, Guy stuff, life at home, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, Sean goes insane, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, Septa, shopping, train, women, work
Nervous Tick
I was bored yesterday so I signed online to have a conversation with a friend of mine, a girl in her mid-twenties who, despite what you’re about to read, has a rather sweet disposition. Sean: “Where is the last place … Continue reading
Filed under B.O.O.B.S., bathroom from Hell, coffee, dating, desperation, doctor, Duh, Guy stuff, Legacy, life at home, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, scary, Sean goes insane, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, shower, sick, technology, women, working out
A Beautiful Mind
One night last week I went to my medicine cabinet and removed two Nyquil tablets and a Tylenol PM. After brewing a cup of black coffee, I walked to my bedroom where I had placed an oscillating fan above a … Continue reading
Filed under animals, B.O.O.B.S., desperation, douches, Duh, future, Guy stuff, life at home, madness, ouch, Philadelphia, scary, Sean goes insane, Sean is almost killed, Sean is an idiot, tourists, vacation, work, working out
